The Risk of Gender Roles: Opinion Piece

Man-made gender roles continue to constrict men, women, and society from straying away from harmful stereotypes, further influencing gender to be a black and white concept. In a society that presents itself as progressive, it is highly discouraging to recognize the reality that most people live in. The "idea" of what it means to be a man or woman is a leading factor in the negative stereotypes that continue to run rampant throughout society. Gender inequalities are still terribly persistent, even after the growing efforts made to combat them. Many writers, like Michael Kimmel in Bros Before Hos, Aaron Devor in Learning the Social Meanings of Gender, Hanna Rosin in The End of Men, and Emma Watson in Gender equality is your issue too, all share their own take on America’s patriarchy and how it has deeply affected most aspects of society. The persistence of gender-based discrimination must be combated to ensure the benefits of all humans and end the ongoing promotion of violence and inequality throughout any and all aspects of society.

Gender is not only a system of cultural meanings and practices, but also a mechanism for enforcing social hierarchies and power relations which is directly backed up throughout Aaron Devor's text "Becoming Members of Society: Learning the Social Meanings of Gender." The roots of hierarchies based on gender have been traced back to some of the earliest societies on Earth. Many “traditional” societies had roles based on gender, in which femininity and masculinity came into the picture. Aaron Devor speaks on this topic when he gives more insight

into the gender-role behaviors, stating how “masculinity [is] usually characterized by dominance and aggression, and femininity by passivity and submission.” We have seen this throughout history; men were responsible for hunting, warfare, and political leadership, while women were left to be responsible for child-rearing, food gathering, and domestic tasks. However, it is important to understand where these gender-specific roles became harmful.

Over time, it seems that these social hierarchies that were based on gender became more entrenched and institutionalized. This left many societies to see men as inherently superior to women, leaving women to be relegated by a secondary status, with limited rights and opportunities. The reinforcement of this patriarchal system was supported by the belief that men were physically stronger, intellectually superior, and more rational than women, further pushing the idea that women were primarily suited to domestic and child-rearing tasks. Devor speaks to this same idea, expressing how “popular conceptions of femininity and masculinity instead revolve around hierarchical appraisals of the "natural" roles of males and females.” However, despite Devor’s knowledge on this, he makes sure to use his scholarly confidence and authority to remind the audience that “society demands different gender performances from us and rewards, tolerates, or punishes us differently for conformity to, or digression from, social norms.”

Devor’s approach to understanding the notion of gender socialization and all that it entails is analyzing the cultural specific norms and expectations surrounding gender. He goes lengths to explore the relationship between gender and power, where he argues that children are taught to adopt gendered behaviors and attitudes through socialization agents such as parents, peers, and the media which leaves children with significant pressure to conform. He uses this as leverage to argue the importance of recognizing the diversity and complexity of gender identities

and experiences. When society fails to validate and recognize the diversity of gender identities, we lose out on the opportunity to have greater social acceptance, inclusivity, and well-being for all individuals.

When it comes to gender roles, society's promotion of toxic masculinity plays a massive part in the existence of negative gender stereotypes. This is especially relevant in Kimmel’s text “Bros Before Hos,” where he is able to give insight on societal standards and the expectations felt by most men. Though Devor makes a more specific argument that gender itself is a fluid and dynamic process that is learned through socialization, Kimmel focuses more on how boys and men are socialized to adhere to a set of cultural norms known as the "guy code." The "guy code" is argued to be a set of rules and expectations that govern how boys and men should behave in relation to each other. He goes on to state that “the single cardinal rule of manhood, the one from which all other characteristics–wealth, power, status, strength, physicality–are derived is to offer a constant roof that you are not gay. Homophobia is even deeper than this. It's the fear of other men–that other man will perceive you as a failure, as a fraud. It's a fear that others will see you as weak, unmanly, frightened.” The fear felt by men stems from the exhaustion of constantly being on edge about the perception of their masculinity. Kimmel is quick to suggest that this so-called “guy code” creates a highly competitive and hierarchical environment among men, along with a corresponding pressure to conform to masculine norms and heavy stigmatization of those who do not.

Devor’s analysis of gender socialization is incredibly relevant to Kimmel’s argument. Devor makes a similar suggestion that gender socialization holds significant pressure for people to conform to gender norms and stigmatization for those who deviate from them, stating “gender identities act as cognitive filtering devices guiding people to attend to and learn gender role

behaviors appropriate to their statuses.” He also makes massive highlights towards gender being used to enforce social hierarchies and power relations. Another underrated similarly between both Devor and Kimmel is their inclusive emphasis on the importance of recognizing the diversity and complexity of gender identities and experiences. Kimmel pushed to challenge the narrow and restrictive expectations of the “guy code” in order to embrace a more inclusive and diverse understanding of masculinity. Kimmel blatantly supports this when he shares the truth of how “the Boy Code shuts boys down, the Guy Code reinforces those messages, suppressing what was left of boyhood exuberance and turning it into sullen indifference.” This is even supported by Devor where he expands on how “in patriarchally organized societies, masculine values become the ideological structure of the society as a whole.”

It is vital to recognize how these two texts offer so much insight into how gender roles and expectations are constructed and reinforced within society. They equally stress the acknowledgement in which gender roles can limit individuals' potential and create barriers to social mobility. Kimmel and Devor are very effective in emphasizing the importance of challenging gender norms and also recognizing the diversity of gender identities and experiences in order to create a more inclusive and equitable society.

In another sense, Hanna Rosin's "The End of Men" and Emma Watson's "Gender Equality is Your Issue Too" both address the issue of gender inequality and its impact on society. Though they both address the issue of inequality, there is a common root cause, the patriarchy. Rosin uses her platform to argue that the traditional roles of men and women have shifted in recent years, with women increasingly occupying positions of power and influence in the workplace and society. She backs this up by writing, "Men dominate just two of the 15 job categories projected to grow the most over the next decade: janitor and computer engineer." Rosin uses these statistics

to cite how women are now outnumbering men in college enrollment, and that women are increasingly becoming the primary breadwinners in households.

On the other hand, Watson's speech puts more emphasis on the insidious nature of the patriarchy, saying, "I started questioning gender-based assumptions when at eight I was confused at being called 'bossy,' because I wanted to direct the plays that we would put on for our parents." Watson acknowledges that the patriarchy not only harms women, but also men (similarly to Kimmel's work), saying, "I've seen young men suffering from mental illness, unable to ask for help, for fear it would make them less of a man." She is clear in her argument that dismantling the patriarchy is everyone's responsibility, stating, "Men—I would like to take this opportunity to extend your formal invitation. Gender equality is your issue too."

Though both of these women have differences in their focus, it is undeniable that both Rosin and Watson ultimately argue for greater gender equality and recognize the harm caused by the patriarchy. Rosin specifically emphasizes how vital it is for men to adapt to these changes, writing, "If we are indeed seeing the rise of a 'pink-collar matriarchy,' as some have called it, we would do well to figure out whether that is the result of a pull or a push." Watson, on the other side, focuses on the importance of society taking responsibility for promoting gender equality and dismantling the patriarchy. She says, "Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive. Both men and women should feel free to be strong...I want men to take up this mantle so their daughters, sisters and mothers can be free from prejudice but also so that their sons have permission to be vulnerable and human too."

Through this understanding, Rosin's article and Watson's speech provide an incredibly powerful call to action in attempts to dismantle the patriarchy and achieve a more just and equitable society. Both of these authors are sure to expose the deep harm caused by gender

inequality and the existence of the patriarchy. Just as Watson puts it, "We don't often talk about men being imprisoned by gender stereotypes but I can see that they are." When society is able to recognize the harm caused by the patriarchy and work to dismantle it, we all can create a world in which everyone is free to live their best lives, regardless of gender.

As a bisexual woman growing up in a very heteronormative family dynamic, I faced my own version of gender stereotypes and sexism from many ignorant family members. All throughout my life, it was practically expected to have that side of me ignored, shunned, or even manipulated. My whole existence was familiar with the comments about acting like a lady, where to find the ideal husband, and how to present myself in a manner that is hyper-feminine. All I could do was wonder why; Why did I need to fit that mold? Why should finding a husband be a life goal of mine? Why was the only appropriate way to represent myself through femininity? Through time, I realized that these ways of thinking were only pushed on me because of everyone's understanding of society and what a woman is supposed to be.

I found myself less alone in these feelings after reading Aaron Devor’s Learning the Social Meanings of Gender. His work speaks directly to the experience children face when growing up and learning ways to perform in accordance to social expectations. More specifically, he states “As [children] develop concepts of themselves as individuals, they do so while observing themselves as reflected in the eyes of others.” This statement alone is a great summary to the very big feelings I faced when I was growing up and learning my own sexuality and gender identity. My sexual and gender identity is not all of who I am and I firmly believe that it is easy to get lost in that idea. Conforming to the generalized pressure society puts on many members of society is incredibly hard in the long run. It was common for me to find myself struggling to reconcile my feelings with the expectations my family and society placed on me.

The internal struggle I faced was compounded by external pressure from society, which often dismissed or invalidated my sexuality. I firmly believe that by working towards a world in which gender and sexuality are seen as fluid and diverse, we can create a more inclusive and accepting society for all individuals, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

In the end, men, women, and society are still restricted by damaging preconceptions due to man-made gender roles, which furthers the idea that gender is binary. After deconstructing Michael Kimmel’s Bros Before Hos, Aaron Devor’s Learning the Social Meanings of Gender, Hanna Rosin’s The End of Men, and Emma Watson’s Gender equality is your issue too, it is easier to recognize the diversity and complexity of gender identities and how it is vital in understanding the stigmatization and marginalization that result when individuals deviate from them. Our goal as a society should be to create a society that values and celebrates people without labels or pressure to conform to a gender identity.